Top 3 Reasons We Fall In Love

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08 July 2021

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Hani Henry, associate professor of psychology at AUC's Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology, says that Robert Sternberg’s psychological theory addresses the most common reasons we fall in love, which are: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Intimacy

Intimacy can be described as a simple friendship that lacks passion and commitment. Henry explained that intimacy isn't just about developing a close bond with someone. It can be self-serving. Everyone longs to feel loved and cared about. Women want to feel feminine, while men want to feel masculine.

The song Hello by Adele is a great example of intimacy. Adele calls her ex-boyfriend in the chorus and vents her pain about the relationship. She says that she hasn’t been able to heal herself after so many years. "Her lyrics speak for many people who are looking to make an emotional connection, whether it's with someone they know or in a relationship that lasts a few months," he explained.

Passion

The normal thing to do is fall in love due to strong feelings or desire. Passionate love develops from feelings that lead to sexual attraction and romantic interest. "When you see someone you like, you are captivated by something that draws you to that person," explained Henry. Henry explained that physical attraction can be described as a fascination with hair, eyes, and the body.

Infatuation develops when there is no intimacy or commitment. People are attracted to one another and develop a sense of lust. Some people see the person they love as a kind of object. He stated that it is possible to be together for years with someone and not feel a commonality.

Commitment

Complete love is only possible through commitment. "People who want commitment are seeking stability and a healthy partnership," he stated. "People who seek only commitment can be unable to find basic friendship and sexual attraction.

Henry stated that today's young adults are more concerned about objects than they are about relationships. He explained that objectification is a result of consumerism. "The more consumeristic the culture becomes, the less interest people have in commitments. Some youth are more focused on impressing people than they care about. So everything needs to be consumed, even relationships with people."

Love Outside the Triangular Theory

Sternberg's love theory is universally applicable. However, everyone has their own reasons for falling in love. Science doesn't have to explain why you fall in love. Some personal needs can be the fear of being alone, social peer pressure, satisfaction or religious values," Henry said.

Regardless of what psychology may say about love and how it affects us, we define who we really are by the type of love that we choose. We have our own way of understanding what makes us happy and fulfills our human needs. "Some people feel compelled to satisfy every dimension of the triangle. know more can't let go of one because they have so many needs. Love is complex.

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