Expires in 9 months
08 July 2021
According to Hani Henry, chair and associate professor of psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology at AUC, Robert Sternberg's psychological theory covers the most common reasons why we fall in love, namely: intimacy, passion and commitment.
A basic friendship is a relationship that involves a person falling in love with another person for intimate reasons. It lacks commitment and passion. Henry explained that intimacy isn't just about developing a close bond with someone. "Sometimes it's self-serving. Everyone wants to be loved and cared for. Women want to feel feminine, while men want to feel masculine.
gitarijada Hello by Adele is a great example of intimacy. Adele, in the chorus of the song, calls her ex-boyfriend to vent her grief about their relationship. She explained that many years have passed, and she hasn’t done much healing. "Her lyrics speak for many people who are looking to make an emotional connection, whether it's with someone they know or in a relationship that lasts a few months," he explained.
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The normal thing to do is fall in love due to strong feelings or desire. Passionate love is developed as a result of feelings that lead to sexual attraction, physical interest and romance. "When you see someone you like, you are captivated by something that draws you to that person," explained Henry. Henry explained that physical attraction can be described as a fascination with hair, eyes, and the body.
Infatuation can develop with someone you love if there is not intimacy and commitment. People are attracted to one another and develop a sense of lust. Some people are obsessed and see that person as a type of object. He stated that it is possible to be together for years with someone and not feel a commonality.
Complete love is only possible through commitment. "People who want commitment are seeking stability and a healthy partnership," he stated. "If people only seek commitment, they may lack sexual attraction and basic friendship interests."
Henry says that young adults today are more interested in objects than in relationships. He explained that objectification is a result of consumerism. "The more consumeristic a culture becomes, then the more people lose interest in commitments. Some youth are more interested in impressing people they don't care about. Therefore, it is important to eat everything and have good relationships with others.
Love Outside the Triangular Theory
Although it's common that anyone can relate to Sternberg's love theory, we all have our personal reasons for falling in love. Science doesn't have to explain why you fall in love. Henry stated that some personal needs could include the fear of being alone or social peer pressure, fulfillment, or religious values.
Despite what psychology has to say about love, the type of love we choose defines who we are. We have our own way of understanding what makes us happy and fulfills our human needs. "Some people find themselves with a need for each dimension of the triangle. However, they can't give up one of their needs because of the many. Love is very complex."