Jayson Jia: Does Playing “Hard to Get” Work?
Back in the day, this was my go-to move. When I was single, I would flirt with as many as 15 to 20 different men in one night out, most of them for only a minute or two, before figuring out who I wanted to focus more of my attention on.
Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers. The secret to playing hard to get is not so much to come across as stand-offish but be difficult to access in the first place. Playing hard to get.
Jayson Jia: Does Playing “Hard to Get” Work? - For example, in another recent paper, Jia and his colleagues had demonstrated that people express a over known achievement. Pop in once in a while if you like but leave it at that please.
On one hand, you do not want to seem too eager or overzealous about a new person because you might be perceived as desperate or annoying. On the other hand, if they have not communicated with you for over two weeks or after calling them two or three times and why three? So where does that leave you? We know from earlier blogs how high-maintenance women use this tactic in spades. But what about men, should they play hard to get? A new study by Whitchurch , Wilson, and Gilbert 2011 on uncertainty and romantic attraction would also say affirmative. They found that women were most attracted to men when they were uncertain of whether these men liked them in return. In this study, the researchers told the women that men from different universities rated their Facebook profiles. The researchers informed the women that they were rated based on the degree to which the men thought they would get along with each woman but what the women did not know was that these men and their Facebook profiles were fictitious. The women in this study were either told that the four male profiles they were examining were men that liked them best, liked them an average amount, or in the uncertain condition which meant that the men either liked them the best or liked them an average amount, and the women were unaware of what the men had rated them. The study found that the women were most attracted to the men when they did not know how they were rated aka the uncertain condition. Also the women in the uncertain condition reported thinking about the men the most and it is suggested that this enhanced their attraction toward these men. It is proposed that the reason for this increased attraction is that the women might have spent more time thinking about these men and wondering how the men felt about them. So what does this mean for me in the dating world? For men, it means that you should not immediately tell the woman you are dating that you like her and leave your feelings about her a mystery for awhile. By leaving your feelings a mystery she may think about you more and therefore be more attracted to you. Of course if both women and men play too hard to get then there will be no chance of anyone getting together. Further Reading: Buss, D. The evolution of human intrasexual competition: Tactics of mate attraction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54 4 , 616-28 PMID: 3367282 Walster, E. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 26 1 , 113-121 DOI: 10. Psychological Science, 22 2 , 172-175 PMID: 21169522 DOI: 10.
Being hard to get, on the other hand, is about knowing your self-worth, knowing what you want and not settling for anything less. You should always be reinforcing the fact that you are a woman with high value with a busy working and social life. Of met if both women and men play dating playing hard to get hard to get then there will be no chance of anyone getting together. This does not mean she is not into you, it simply means the timing is off. All the time the same scenario. It's going on 2 north and I decided I wasn't going to make any effort to contact her. Verdict Why didn't she call you when she had the chance. Appearing less available conveys emotional maturity, strength and confidence in knowing what you want and your ability to express yourself. There are many guys out there with responsible motives and you should never assume that a guy does something for you just because he is nice. Quit being the nice girl all the time and starting playing a little more hard to get. Then one day I found out he had started dating someone else.