Things I Wish I Had Told My Lover

Expires in 7 months

09 December 2021

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You were so kind to me. I wasn’t used to that at all. Meeting strangers just sends my anxiety into overdrive but you didn’t seem to mind. You told me about stars, and the world, and pecans, and you laughed, and talked so fast. I was very enthralled even if I didn’t show it and wished very much that we were in a bed and not on the highway.

That first night we were together I was so disappointed. It was my first and to this day last gangbang. But from the first time I slid down on you it was as though I found the perfect fit. (Though you being perfect for me is not information I withheld from you. Every time you had me on my back and hit that spot that made my brain fritz it was the only thing I could tell you.) And at one point you had to remind me that there were other men there. I spent the entire time longing for you to be inside when the others were.

As for our subsequent encounters there are some things I wish I had told you.

The pain.

When we first met I was having lots of sex in all three holes. Perhaps you noticed that near the beginning you could easily just switch to anal whenever you wanted. No lube necessary. But once again you were literally perfect and I lost interest in being with others. So I got tighter and tighter. And you didn’t become any less well endowed.

Eventually came the time when you tried to switch to anal and I said ow. It was so quick how you pinned me to my belly and forced your way in. It hurt but I know it must have felt good for you. It hurt. Until it didn’t. You led me from the pain into a body shaking orgasm. And when you knew that pleasure ran its course you went as deep into me as you could and kissed my forehead. Of course next time you brought lube with you because you are a kind person.

But you didn’t have to.

So deeply did I trust that you would lead me to pleasure that the thought of you bringing me pain aroused me all the more. I wanted you to hold my hips in your strong hands and take as much dry anal as you wanted. I wanted you to take your gratification while I whimpered in pain. Knowing that your satisfaction was contagious to me and I would join you sooner or later.

In a similar gesture you refused to do anal while I was on my back.

The first time we had sex without a condom we were nearing the end of our meeting. But truly feeling your perfection for the very first time? I rode you to one of the best orgasms of my life. And then you tossed me on my back and swore in my ear. I was still having those tender aftershocks which led to some squeezing. Then came the anal.

I’ve never really been able to take anal very well in that position. That fact was amplified with you.

It was such a sharp pain but one look at the rapture in your face stilled me. I laid there in pain listening to your deep moans. Wishing our dynamic allowed a “good girl” or an “I know” in that moment. Then the pain worsened. You were reaching your climax and drilling into my hole with a primal urge. When you pulled out to come on my mound your member was streaked in my blood.

From that moment forward whenever I tried to direct you to anal in that position you’d just tell me that it wouldn’t fit. Because you were always so gentle with me in every manner. But in bed you needn’t have been. I felt the sting from that session for days afterwards. A constant reminder of the sex god who ushers me from reality into a world where only the two of us exist. And I would have felt it again and again.


But those instances where you stroked and excited the little masochist in me wasn’t all there was.

There was pleasure.

I was once again on my tummy getting the most delicious anal from you. It was one of our earlier and you were wearing a condom. But when you came? I entered a state of euphoria. Couldn’t keep my hands off of you afterwards or stop kissing you. It was more than those times when you reset my brain to the point I lost the ability to speak. This time I wanted to meld into you.

After you left I realized your condom had broken. My body and mind had been rejoicing from finally receiving your seed.

It took until the last time I saw you to ask you to come in me. Until then I was so jealous of every condom you came in. Wanted to grip you into me every time you pulled out.

I wish I’d had the courage to be you to finish inside me every time in between.

By the way I never told you how perfect I found your penis did I? The most beautiful one I’ve ever seen in my life.

Loved having it in my mouth to worship. And unlike with any other man I’ve been with it didn’t matter what hole it had just finished occupying. That’s level of perfection you were gifted with.

On one occasion of my praising you pushed my head lower. the instant my tongue began to circle and your moans reached my ears I didn’t want to stop. So on all of our next meetings I’d do that more than giving you a blowjob.

But of course I wanted more.

I wished for once it to be you on your tummy. Fantasized that for once I could give the thorough attention you deserved. I longed to bathe your backend with my tongue. And once it was soaking wet to hear your reaction to me pressing my tongue in deeper and deeper.

What, lover, would your pleasure have sounded like?

These are all the things I wish I had told you. But time and distance leaves me only able to utter, “I miss you.”


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